My only yesterday
by Alena S. Anigor
Summary: He never knew how much he really cared, until she was gone...[Inuyasha×Kagome] angst. Reviews are welcome.


**AN:**

**Wow! I can't believe how many good reviews I've gotten for my first fic... Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you've made me really happy! ^_^**

**I hope this story will be equally good and well written like the first one.**

**Kind of inspired by one of the theme songs made for Inuyasha...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, or any of its plot and characters. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi.**

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**My only yesterday**

-by Alena S. Anigor

The night was chilly and cold, bringing the scent of an upcoming autumn. Leafs were covering now, already wet and muddy forest path, and the air was creating that certain misty atmosphere around the woods. The fresh smell of grass after autumn rain was filling the air now, and the ground was wet and was sending chills up and down the spine of those we walked across it barefooted. 

But he didn't care.

An almost silent and cold breeze caressed his face, making his bangs sway around, revealing a pair of golden eyes clouded with sadness and remorse. Youkai ears were lowered, now hidden behind a mop of silvery hair.

She was gone.

He stopped suddenly, ears perking up, searching for a familiar voice, a familiar sound. Then, he bowed his head, sighing...it was just wind, playing with his imagination, playing with his feelings of wanting her to return back...

Impossible.

She was gone; gone for good.

He continued forward again, bare feet scrapping against chilly forest path, barely walking, barely moving. Shoulders were hunched, and he raised his hand to remove the branch that was in his way. It cracked a bit, and returned to its previous position. Crickets were still cricketing, filling the night with their own humming sound. The moon was full, casting silvery beams trough leafs, playing a game of shadows and light.

Everything was perfect, almost magical, but...

She wasn't there.

She wasn't there to share the beautiful song of forest animals, or to share the beautiful sight of shiny moon with him. And therefore, all of that wasn't worth anything...without her.

Why did she have to leave? Why now? Why him?

He didn't even tell her exactly everything...tell her what he wanted to tell a million times before, tell her how he felt, and what she was to him...

A bitter smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, eyes remaining distant and filled with unshed tears.

He stumbled a little bit, not paying attention to where he was going. It was all useless, all worthless...

"No use", a silent whisper left his mouth, and that same bitter smile turned into a thin line again.

It hurt.

He never thought he'd feel that, feel such pain...

Not even hundred swords piercing his flesh would hurt that much. Nothing...it was all nothing. 

How it happened, he didn't know himself. He still remembered the way she looked at him that day, that last day, before she slipped away from him forever...

She was happy, smiling brightly at Shippou for making her laugh. Miroku and Sango were laughing as well, Miroku holding his hand over hers secretly. That made the youkai hunter blush, but she didn't protest.

Shippou was trying to pull a trick with his magic, and failed, landing on all fours with swirling eyes.

He thought that served him good, of course. But she...she was laughing, eyes shining with vivid energy, her face bright. And in that moment, she looked at him, caught him staring at her. He didn't exactly know how he looked like, because he was too absorbed in watching her, but her slightly flushed face, told him everything. 

And in that exact moment, when she stopped laughing, when she looked at him with her bright eyes, when her cheeks turned pink...in that exact moment, he knew.

He knew everything, everything about her, and everything about his own feelings. The only problem, were the words that never came out of his mouth. That same feelings always made him feel uncomfortable and nervous, vulnerable and...afraid. 

And now...now he will never be able to tell her that everything about him. He wished he was never afraid of telling her everything; he wished he could've just told her and get it over with, to yell at her if she started laughing, but now...

It was too late.

He stopped wandering trough the woods, and raising his, now tear streaked face, his eyes widened when he realized where he was.

The tree by the temple. That same tree he was pinned to for 50 years, after Kikyo shot her arrow, and then died herself. That same tree, where she came after being transported from the old well, and brought him back to life. That same tree he was now standing in front.

He stared at it, remembering that faithful day, when she took the arrow away, woke him up from his dream, and...changed his life forever.

All the memories came to him, all at once, and his legs gave away, making him fall on his knees, making him sob, making him scratch the muddy surface and making him howl into the night.

A painful sound echoed trough the forest, between the trees, over the meadow, and carrying itself further to the sky. 

Carrying her name.

He leaned on the tree, wishing for someone to shoot the arrow again, wishing for someone to put him to an endless dream, until some day, she would come again, and release him.

He fell to the ground, still leaned on that special tree, never forgetting her face, her eyes, her smile. And never forgetting the day when her little brother came to tell them all that she won't be coming anymore, because she died in a car accident.

He didn't know what kind of thing was a car; all he heard, was the word 'died'.

And that word shattered his soul into pieces. That word surrounded his word into darkness, and the fact that she was gone made him empty and numb... And he felt, like he died the day she died...

Lying under that same tree, sleeping and dreaming about her, one single tear escaped from his eye, and one single word was whispered, and carried away with the cold, autumn breeze...

"Kagome..." 

**AN:**

***scratches her head* Uhm...okay, I made Kagome dead...don't kill me now. *hides behind her chair***

**I know it's kind of sad and depressed, but I just had the need to write something like that. **

**Anyway, I hope you liked it, and I hope I didn't screw up the grammar too much. So, uhm...yeah, it's your turn now-tell me what you think.**

**So much from me. **

**Bye now!**

**A.S.A**


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